Understanding Your Loss & Learning to Cope

When you lose a beloved pet (whether through death or missing), it is only natural and perfectly normal for you to feel grief and sorrow. Grieving is an internal and personal response, however; there are certain shared feelings that most people may experience. By understanding the grieving process, you can be better prepared to deal with your grief and to help other family members who share in your loss.

Phases of Grief

There are many phases of grief, but not everyone will experience them all or in any certain order.

• Denial
• Anger and Guilt
• Depression
• Acceptance and Resolution

Denial

Some people's first reaction may be denial. Denial that the pet was even sick or has died. Often, the more sudden the death, the more difficult the loss may be to accept. This rejection can be a subtle attempt of your mind to buffer the emotional blow. This stage may last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours or maybe a few days. If it goes on for several weeks, it is probably unhealthy grieving and you may want to seek professional help.

Anger & Guilt

Anger and guilt may often follow your denial. Your anger may be directed at people you normally love and respect. This may include family and veterinarian and staff. You may want to blame others for not recognizing the illness sooner, for not doing anything about the situation and/or illness earlier, or for not being able to afford treatment. You may also blame others for being careless and allowing the animal to be hurt.

Depression

Depression is another one of the wide range of emotions you may experience after the loss of a beloved pet. This will be the period when you will feel the greatest sense of loss. Tears may flow, your stomach may knot up, and you may feel drained of all energy. Normal everyday things may seem impossible to you. Some people may even feel they cannot go on without their beloved pet. Yes, you can, but sometimes it is helpful to know others care and have experienced similar feelings and to know you are not alone.

Acceptance and Resolution

True recovery begins when you learn to recognize and then deal with those feelings appropriately and in turn accept the loss. Thoughts of your beloved pet move from the front to the back of your mind. As your focus shifts, you can think of your beloved pet with love, but less pain. You can look at photos and share stories with less and less pain. Life is much shorter in animals. Death is a natural process of the life cycle, it cannot be avoided, however its impact can be dealt with compassion and understanding. Recalling the good times, funny, special, etc., you will realize your pet was worthy of your grief. Memorializing your pet or honoring their memory may help in your acceptance and resolution.

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